As a pre-warning, this may be a somewhat long blog. And, some of you may have heard about this already. At any rate, I wanted to make sure you all know what’s going on with me.
This may or may not come as a shock, but I am making plans to move back to Central Florida in mid-October. Now, as I said, this may or may not be a shock to you. I say that because as I’ve slowly talked to different people about what’s going on inside of me, I am realizing that they are no where near shocked. I know that being close to my family is a passion that God has put in my heart for sometime now that I can no longer ignore. Not that I ignored it before, but I wholeheartedly believe this is all about timing. It’s just time to go home. And, I know it. Just as much as I knew about this time last year that it wasn’t time, I know now that it is time. I have been praying and asking God over and over if this is right, and each time I feel like He says, “You already know what you need to do.” I have sought wise counsel who is objective and each of them seem to see a very black and white situation that is pretty clear.
About two months ago, I started to move towards being open to going somewhere else a year from now. By then I’d be done with graduate school and my lease would be up and I would have gotten Place of Hope through their big fundraising season. And, I started to pray to that end…”Ok, God, what do you want me to do in a year?” In a book I’ve just started reading (and what perfect timing for it to have come in the mail), he talks about how he asked God the same question. Then he says, “If you ask God that question with a willingness to do whatever He says, you’d better be prepared for God to disrupt the routine of your life.” I am learning the truth of that statement as I prepare for a move now…instead of in a year from now.
SO…it’s exciting, scary, sad, adventurous and right all at the same time. And, it is totally a blessing from God that I picked up the book I mentioned earlier when I did (it’s “Wild Goose Chase” by Mark Batterson). So much confirmation and encouragement that I am doing the right thing. Here’s a little bit more from the book: “Sometimes the will of God feels downright irresponsible. You are called to make a decision or take a course of action that seems to make no sense. And if you do it, the people closest to you may think you are crazy…Responsible irresponsibility means refusing to allow your human responsibilities to get in the way of pursuing the passions God puts in your heart…When God puts a passion in your heart…that God-ordained passion becomes your responsibility. And you have a choice to make. Are you going to be irresponsibly responsible or responsibly irresponsible? …The will of God is difficult to discern because it often involves making a decision that seems irresponsible. You may have to quit a job or change majors or make a move. And on one level it will seem irresponsible to those who cannot see the godly motivation. But pursuing a God-ordained passion, no matter how crazy it seems, is the most responsible thing you can do.” Go get the book! It’s a good one.
I resigned from my position at Place of Hope on Wednesday. And, at this point, I do not have a job in Orlando. I am taking a step of faith, and praying that God will fill in the little details. As for grad school, I have the opportunity to finish the last half of my degree at PBA’s Orlando Campus, so that’s a good thing.
So…I’m approaching a fork in the road. And, after eleven incredible years in West Palm Beach, I’ll be heading home, or at least the general vicinity of “home.” I’m sure there’ll be plenty more to come on this topic, but for now this is good, and should have everybody up to date. 🙂